TORAH FOR TODAY: What does the Torah say about divorce ?
By Rabbi Yisroel Newman
We frequently hear of high-profile divorce cases that receive mass media attention due mainly to the exorbitant amounts of money and property divided between a couple.
Here in America it’s quite common. How does Judaism view divorce? The 90-page tractate of Talmud legislating the Jewish laws concludes: “Whenever anyone divorces his first wife, even the Temple Altar sheds tears. Why? Because God has borne witness between you and the wife of your youth that you have betrayed her, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant.”
Divorce, in the Jewish perspective, may at times be a necessity, but is profoundly painful. When two souls fused in marriage are severed, something holy and special is destroyed. Marriage is a divine institution and the recreation of the divine image here on earth.
When a marriage is severed, the world becomes a smaller place; the part of us that is sensitive to the godliness of life cries. Marriage, the Bible is telling us, is not merely a choice; it is a covenant, a commitment to be there for each other. The declaration of marriage does not mean you are husband and wife as long as you find each other attractive or compatible; as long as your hearts are aglow with passion and romance; as long as you don’t meet someone else more attractive, or as long as you don’t get into a major conflict about life’s dilemmas. Marriage is the pledge to share a life together, come what may. It is, in the words of the sages, “an eternal edifice”.
This commitment does not stem from passive resignation, fuelled by fear or social pressure. On the contrary, it stems from the mature choice of two human beings who see enough of each other to know their souls belong together. Once they recognise this, they make an unwavering commitment to each other that nothing will ever in the way of their loyalty to each other.
Of course, they know the future may bring unexpected situations that might warrant divorce; tragic circumstances may necessitate the dissolution of the marriage, which is why the Torah sanctions divorce. Yet in their present state, the commitment is timeless and unbreakable. This is why the Talmudic tractate dealing with divorce precedes the tractate on marriage.
You need to examine your attitude, instinctive and philosophical, to divorce before you’re ready for marriage; and that of your partner to divorce. The moment you are ready to marry a person, divorce should not be an option anymore. What the future will bring nobody knows; yet separation must never be part of the marriage equation.
Thank you for helping to make Jewish News the leading source of news and opinion for the UK Jewish community. Today we're asking for your invaluable help to continue putting our community first in everything we do.
For as little as £5 a month you can help sustain the vital work we do in celebrating and standing up for Jewish life in Britain.
Jewish News holds our community together and keeps us connected. Like a synagogue, it’s where people turn to feel part of something bigger. It also proudly shows the rest of Britain the vibrancy and rich culture of modern Jewish life.
You can make a quick and easy one-off or monthly contribution of £5, £10, £20 or any other sum you’re comfortable with.
100% of your donation will help us continue celebrating our community, in all its dynamic diversity...
Engaging
Being a community platform means so much more than producing a newspaper and website. One of our proudest roles is media partnering with our invaluable charities to amplify the outstanding work they do to help us all.
Celebrating
There’s no shortage of oys in the world but Jewish News takes every opportunity to celebrate the joys too, through projects like Night of Heroes, 40 Under 40 and other compelling countdowns that make the community kvell with pride.
Pioneering
In the first collaboration between media outlets from different faiths, Jewish News worked with British Muslim TV and Church Times to produce a list of young activists leading the way on interfaith understanding.
Campaigning
Royal Mail issued a stamp honouring Holocaust hero Sir Nicholas Winton after a Jewish News campaign attracted more than 100,000 backers. Jewish Newsalso produces special editions of the paper highlighting pressing issues including mental health and Holocaust remembrance.
Easy access
In an age when news is readily accessible, Jewish News provides high-quality content free online and offline, removing any financial barriers to connecting people.
Voice of our community to wider society
The Jewish News team regularly appears on TV, radio and on the pages of the national press to comment on stories about the Jewish community. Easy access to the paper on the streets of London also means Jewish News provides an invaluable window into the community for the country at large.
We hope you agree all this is worth preserving.
