41% surge in older Jewish women seeking support for domestic abuse

Jewish Women’s Aid has seen a 41% rise in women aged 65 and over seeking help for domestic abuse over the past five years – with more reporting harm from partners, adult children and even grandchildren.

New figures released last week show more older women – aged between 65 and 90 – are asking for help, with the most common forms of abuse being emotional (92%), financial (67%) and coercive control (62%).

More than 60% of JWA clients over the age of 65 are still living with their abuser, 88% report feeling depressed, and nearly two-thirds have a disability or long-term health condition.

Before contacting the charity, Deborah, aged 68, said: “I would not have thought that what I was going through would be relevant to JWA’s service. It opened my eyes to all of the different types of ways I was abused; I wasn’t imagining it, it wasn’t my fault.”

After speaking with an independent domestic violence advocate (IDVA), Sylvie,  aged 84, said: “I felt held and understood, I was told that feeling the way I do, is OK and acceptable. Something really changed in me and in the relationship. This made a difference in the situation at home. Without JWA’s support, I would have felt more trapped, helpless and depressed.”

The charity’s chief executive, Sam Clifford said: “There must be greater recognition that abuse can affect women of all ages, and that older women deserve the same understanding and access to support. Abuse doesn’t stop at any age and it doesn’t only come from intimate partners.

“Some women explain this away as difficult behaviour for many years, not recognising it as abuse.”

Controlling behaviours included having to show food receipts, being told when they are allowed to use the car, having to ask permission to spend their own money or being forced to hide things they have bought with their own money.

Clifford added; “Women can be criticised for what they wear – or forced to ask permission to wear a new outfit for a family simcha. In some cases, extended family members use emotional pressure to control women, such as saying they will not be allowed to see grandchildren unless they gift money or jewellery. Often, these women don’t recognise what they’re experiencing as abuse, because it’s been normalised for so long.”

Highlighting the need for support, she said: “We need more community awareness and understanding, so that every Jewish woman knows that help is available and that she is not alone.”

• Names of clients have been changed to protect their identities. JWA is the UK’s only specialist charity supporting Jewish women and girls affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence