‘Every single day is a battle – our lives have just stopped’

“I can’t believe it’s been a year already… Everything is so painful…”

Ayelet pauses, her composed veneer disguising acute grief. Voice cracking a little, she proceeds: “You must understand, our whole lives have been centred around this ordeal every single day. Every day is a battle. Our lives, they have stopped.”

The 46-year-old is reflecting on the anniversary of the 7 October massacre. On that day, her older brother Roi, 54, was shot and killed behind his home. Her mother, Channah, 79, and other brother, Nadav, 51, were taken hostage.

“I was actually on the phone with my mother when the Hamas terrorist entered her home. I hung up when I heard his voice. I could not bear hearing my own mother being murdered over the phone.”

Hours later, a picture was posted on her mother’s Facebook showing them both alive, alongside an armed Hamas gunman.

For Ayelet, the past year has been a whirlwind of emotions. Channah was released after 49 days being held in tunnels, alongside Nadav, with little food or water. It was the last time she saw her son alive. In June, Israeli authorities confirmed Nadav had died in captivity a few months earlier.

“Nothing matters now apart from the release of the hostages,” Ayelet continues resolutely. “Knowing there are still hostages – I can’t wrap my head around it. How can this still be happening to us one year later?”

Her response has been a wholehearted effort to secure the release of the remaining 101 hostages, putting herself through numerous international media interviews and joining delegations to the UK, United Nations and Qatar.

“There is a bigger story ongoing. I can’t just sit back and get on with my life. I will keep fighting until every hostage is released.”

This determination is shared by Stephen, who has campaigned tirelessly to free his brother-in-law Eli Sharabi.

Stephen’s sister Lianne and children Noiya, 16, and Yahel, 13, were murdered on 7 October. The girls were found in their home, huddled in their mother’s arms.

“The first months were full of sobbing and visceral emotions,” Stephen says. “It is impossible not to picture their faces in those of my own children who are a similar age. It has broken my parents – Lianne was their only daughter.

“Yet, once we learnt Eli was a hostage, we buried our grief and focused our efforts on fighting to ensure the British government was putting pressure on Israel and Hamas to get the hostages home.”

Stephen, who lives in South Wales, believes the previous and current governments have been supportive, with measures including introducing a dedicated Gaza hostages team to ensure lines of communication remain open. Like Ayelet, he has also been in touch with other hostage and victim families through the Hostages and Missing Families Forum.

“All the hostage and victim families have a shared experience, an inextricable link which bonds us together. We feel the same deep sense of loss and connection every time we learn of hostages being killed. Equally, we feel a shared sense of joy for those families whose loved ones have been returned to them.

“Frustratingly, however, nothing has changed since that first wave of releases last year. This is an abject failure of international diplomacy. We need to see results,” Stephen insists.

With war raging on, Gaby has focused her own efforts over the past year in supporting the welfare of soldiers and the many displaced families. The 39-year-old’s brother, Nathanel, was killed fighting terrorists who infiltrated his army base on 7 October. He was just 20.

Nathanel’s heroic actions saved the lives of numerous soldiers on the base and prevented a nearby kibbutz from being infiltrated. Since his death, his family have set up numerous charitable initiatives in his honour, including making meals for soldiers and raising money for a Magen David Adom motorbike and apartments for displaced families. Gaby also organised a party in a Tel Aviv nightclub in March to mark the former JFS pupil’s 21st birthday.

“Nathanel was a passionate DJ – it was the birthday party he would have wanted. Over 100 people attended, including many of his friends. Many hadn’t been to a single party since 7 October,” she says.

As the anniversary approaches, the families have planned commemorations for their loved ones.

Stephen plans to take his family to the coast near his home where a memorial bench has been placed. “It’s a place we had such joyous times with the girls playing in penny arcades and making sandcastles. We’re going to try not to make it too sad of an occasion and remember the happiness they gave us.”

For Ayelet, a quiet personal ceremony at the graves of Roi and Nadav is planned. “There will also be a ceremony at our kibbutz with the community which we will join,” she adds.

And what of the future? Ayelet is resolute: “We didn’t start this war, but we can’t afford to lose it. We have the right to live safely and not be kidnapped in our nightwear from our bedrooms.”

For Gaby, keeping Nathanel’s memory alive is her central focus. “Nathanel’s infectious smile and generosity touched everyone. I hope we all can draw inspiration, treating others with the same kindness he showed,” she says.

“Since Nathanel’s passing, we’ve welcomed three new nieces and one nephew, and we will continue to share his joyful stories with them.”

Stephen remains focused on processing his grief and bringing some normality back to life. “You have these feelings of guilt when you catch yourself having fun – perhaps enjoying a nice meal or film. That guilt used to be crippling.

“I’m learning to give myself permission to smile, laugh and enjoy the moment. Yet, the truth is, my sister and nieces will never enjoy those things again. In that sense, one year on, nothing has changed.

“And for the other hostages, time is running out.”