PAWS HERE:Rocco Rinder & the Royal dogs

Don’t Judge me!

With TV’s favourite legal eagle Robert Rinder as his owner, French bulldog Rocco is ready to unleash…

Look at all the space they’ve given me this week to ‘ruff ‘ and I’m not even a corgi. Other dogs might have done the dutiful thing and stepped back to give one of HRH’s four-legged favourites the Jubilee column. But until Boris Johnson repairs his relationship with Emmanuel Macron, this French bulldog is moving
nowhere for no one. Regardless, I’m British-born with illusions of grandeur, so I’ve earned the right to rattle on about the royals. Since the Judge got his MBE, I’m practically royalty anyway and the Boss always seems to be within bowing distance of a blue blood.

Only the other day he was spinning Sophie Wessex around a room in Guernsey and Prince Edward didn’t try to cut in once. Some (me) might think it a tad familiar for the Judge to be jiving with the partner of the 14th in line to the throne and to the classic Putting on the Ritz. But he has Strictly credentials and it was a Liberation Day Tea Dance, so all power to him.

My owner’s links to the monarch are scholarly, as his alma mater was Queen Elizabeth’s School in Barnet, which he attended from 1989-1994, so they are unlikely to have been in the same lessons. They are certainly a breed apart when it comes to dogs, as she is passionate about Pembroke Welsh corgis, like her parents King George VI and the Queen Mum, while the Judge inherited his style classique from his mère et père and chose me.

The Duke and Duchess of Cornwall, aka Charles and Camilla, rescued their two pups – Bluebell and Beth – from Battersea Dogs & Cats Home, which, fittingly, must have put the proverbial cat among the pigeons for the mutts left behind.

But being adopted by a future king is pretty much how it was for me. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Wills and Kate, have a cocker spaniel called Orla, who replaced their previous pup of the same breed, Lupo.

As I’m irreplaceable, I’m certain the Judge will opt for a parrot when I shuffle off this mortal coil, but I’ll be watching just to be sure. To avoid that happening soon, I must be mindful about not eating poisonous substances during walks in Windsor Great Park as that is how Princess Beatrice’s dog Orange met his fate. Fortunately, the Princess and her sister Eugenie have four other Norfolk terriers – Jack, Cici, Teddy and Ginger –who keep them very busy. Well, something has to.

I feel it would be remiss of me to not mention Harry and Meghan’s lab, Pula, in La La Land, who must be having a fine old time chasing their chickens. No doubt Pula will have his own Netflix series soon, so I’d best keep it congenial if I want a cameo – and I really, really do.

Now, please be upstanding for the Queen and her corgis.

Joyful Jubilee wishes.

Love  Rocco

Corgi Roll Call
Fittingly, corgis are set to steal the limelight at the Jubilee ‘People’s Pageant’ on Sunday. The Monarch’s favourite mutt – she has owned around 30 – will hopefully be causing chaos along The Mall in the guise of inflatable corgi puppets escorting a giant 3D wire bust of the Queen.

Cavapoos, now officially the Jewish People’s Pooch, can only watch in wonder as their furry rivals recreated in plastic float above the heads of much-loved celebrities, military personnel and volunteers. There’s truly no escaping the short-legged wags this week, as corgis are the popular theme for everything from bunting to fairy cakes, including the larger patriotic offering from Morrisons (above), which looks more like a keeper than an eater.

Meanwhile across the pond, where royal support is split between HRH and H&M, Gizmo, America’s second most famous Jewish corgi, will be watching his inflated likeness on TV, as the insta star recently moved back to LA. If Harry and Meghan play their cards right, Gizmo might even agree to an audience with them!

The most famous American Jewish corgi has better things to do, as Maxine, five, is always meeting fans close to her duplex in Bed-Stuy, which she shares with her humans – Bryan Reisberg and Alex Garyn. With 750,000 followers on her Insta account, @madmax_fluffyroad, the couple spend all their downtime selling Maxine merch and working on a kids’ book about her. “I’m pretty sure  she knows she’s famous,” says Reisberg. “I choose to believe that’s where her attitude comes from. She’s a diva.” Not a Queen?

Palace Pamper

If you want your pooch to look and smell like a princess pre and post the Jubilee celebrations, then walk them to Liberty in London, which is now home to a swanky new pet spa. The stylish spot on the lower ground floor has a full menu of treatments, including some packages costing £500, which includes a caviar meal for dogs (Dogviar). Designed to provide a calm, relaxing and safe retreat for your pooch, the £500 package includes a VIP check-in, an in-depth consultation, a gentle ear cleanse, a minty fresh breath treatment, play-time… and that’s all before lunch! Finishing with a cologne spritz, the last place you’ll want to take them afterwards is a park with a pond.