Our showbiz reporter Mrs Frankowitz on Zac Efron. Not literally

Never have I been prouder to be a Jewish yenta than this week, when I overheard Sanjay in the Post Office saying how attractive we all are.

I asked him if he was havin’ a laugh, but he said no. He then told me that 10 percent of FHM’s 100 sexiest women this year are Jews. I said, “What the bloody hell is goin’ on?”, then swallowed my strawberry Hubba Bubba.

Well done yentas, we have made it into the holy grail of beauty stakes. *Burp*

On the list was a model called Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley who Hetty says is Richard Whiteley’s daughter.

I didn’t think Richard was MOT [member of tribe] and Rosie doesn’t look like she’d be very into words, so I think Hetty is wrong about this one. Nigella Lawson was also on the list, which I can’t really be bothered to write anything about because I’m sick to the stomach of hearing her name.

In other news, my two favourite actors Zac Efron and Seth Rogen are to star in a new film together. What luck! I feel the mega-talented Zac has grown up enough for it to now be okay for me to say ­– I’d give him a high school bloomin’ musical.

The film is called Bad Neighbours and it is out this week. I have had dreadful neighbours for years called Mary and Peter, who think it’s funny to ask me to turn the volume of my telly down, every night, so I really am looking forward to this one.

Remember that small bloke, Paul Simon? He and his wife Edie Brickell went to court last week after both being arrested for a domestic dispute. What is wrong with these famous people? Can’t they just enjoy being rich, famous and very small without yelling at each other?

I like that song You Can Call Me Al very much. Hetty sometimes sings it when we have tomatoes on toast, but replaces Al with ‘Hetty’ which we agree sounds much better.

• Please follow me on Twitter if you have any gossip to share. Nobody else will. @mrsfrankowitz