Satisfaction guaranteed: Jewish men are best in bed!

An international study into love-making has found that Jewish men are better in bed than their gentile peers, after thousands of Jewish and non-Jewish women were polled.

The findings, released for International Women’s Day, are documented in a paper from the US-based Center for Sexuality and Seduction, based on feedback from 2,355 women aged between 18 and 65 years.

The 18-month research project, conducted over three continents, was part-funded by fertility groups and shows that Jewish men scored the highest average of 69 percent in satisfaction ratings.

The women also reported being satisfied. “This confirms what we already knew,” said Will Hayman, public relations director at the Israeli Embassy in Washington, D.C. “It should now confirm to our wives what we’ve been telling them for years!”

Co-author Esther Gold said the “shock” findings had “completely altered popular perceptions,” adding: “The data doesn’t lie.”

The study breakdowns include age, sexuality and ethnicity, with Jewish heterosexual men aged between 18 and 34 topping the list. Jewish heterosexual men aged 35 and 64 scored 62 percent, the highest for that age group and sixth highest overall.

Similarly, 1,107 male respondents reported that Jewish homosexual men aged 35 to 62 were “the best gay lovers” and were only bettered by their non-Jewish counterparts aged 35 to 62.

One anonymous respondent joked: “I’d be bettered by that age group any day!”

Christian and Muslim heterosexual men scored an average of 58 percent across the two age groups, while Buddhist men fared poorly in all categories. Gold said: “Their mind just wasn’t on it.”