Grandfather and grandson barmitzvahed on the same day for BBC documentary
Airing next week, ‘Growing Old: A Believer’s Guide’ follows 83-year-old Ivor Lethbridge celebrating second coming of age alongside 13-year-old Zak.
An 83-year-old Jewish man from east London has had his second barmitzvah on the same day as his 13-year-old grandson had his first, with a BBC TV crew filming the build-up and after-party for a programme set to air next week.
The run-up to Ivor Lethbridge and his grandson Zak’s big day will feature on BBC One in a 45-minute episode called Growing Old: A Believer’s Guide on 12 April.
Seeing your son’s barmitzvah is “one of the greatest moments of any [Jewish] parent’s life,” said Zak’s dad, Jonny Lethbridge. “To have that enhanced by having your father’s second barmitzvah at the same time is something I’ve never heard of. A second barmitzvah is incredibly rare, a first barmitzvah is incredibly special.”
A retired market trader with eight grandchildren, Ivor grew up in an Orthodox environment and now lives with his partner Rita in Redbridge, where he attends Woodford Forest Synagogue. He and Rita have been friends for 50 years and became an item 12 years ago, after they both lost their spouse.
“My Judaism and my faith increased quite a lot after I lost my wife,” said Ivor, who admits to becoming a recluse in the aftermath of her death. “Going to the synagogue allowed me to come out of myself. It helped me get over my grief.”
Describing himself as “a very sentimental person,” he said his first barmitzvah was held in the austerity of the post-war years 70 years ago. “It was a small family affair,” he said. “Back then, nobody had big barmitzvahs, whether you had money or not. Now, I’ve decided it’s time to have a party.”
Zak, 13, who lives with his mum and dad in north London, told the programme-makers that he had been looking forward to singing the berakhah, haftorah, and maftir prayers in the synagogue in front of his friends and family. “It means a lot because it means that I become a man in Judaism,” he said.
The programme features recollections and explanations from community figures such as Reform Rabbi Laura Janner-Klausner, United Synagogue Rabbi Mordechai Wollenberg, and Jewish Care chief executive Daniel Carmel-Brown.
Having a second barmitzvah is a relatively recent phenomenon, due in part to today’s increased life expectancy.
It is the third episode in a five-part series, other episodes featuring Christian and Muslim families on topics such as settling down and becoming parents, whereas Ivor and Zak’s double barmitzvah and party at Yavneh College for 70 guests highlighted the centrality of simchas to Jewish life.
Having a second barmitzvah is a relatively recent phenomenon, due in part to today’s increased life expectancy. It is even more unusual for two members of the same family but different generations to have their barmitzvah on the same day.
Ivor said: “I know a few people who have had one and who are having one, but they don’t celebrate it like I celebrated it. It was only because Zak and I celebrated it on the same day – the same sedra, the same birthdays. That’s a rarity.”
Addressing Ivor in front of friends and family on the big day last month, Zak said: “Grandpa, we share a love of family, a love of Judaism, and dad tells me that when I am older, we will probably share a double chin.”
A few weeks after, speaking to Jewish News, Ivor said: “I’m still living on Cloud 9. It was a special experience for the whole family. I feel very proud and emotional.
“Our birthdays are only a few days apart. His and my Hebrew date was the same. I was just going to have a Kiddush [luncheon] in my shul, lunch with a few friends and family, but it snowballed from there. The BBC got in touch about five months ago. They heard what was happening from Facebook and contacted us.”
In shul, Ivor said he got called up and Zak read his parsha. “When your grandson says your barmitzvah parsha, it makes you very proud. At the party, I loved seeing my son let his hair down. He’s had a tough few years. I was kvelling.”
Jonny described it as a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” that the family had discussed since the start of lockdown, two years earlier. “We never knew if it would happen. Even just a few weeks before, we still didn’t know if it would happen.
“It’s something I’ve never heard of. In the end, it all just came together. It’s something my whole family will treasure, and the BBC programme means it’s now documented forever.”
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