What the bloomin’ heck is going on? With showbiz reporter Mrs Frankowitz

The birds are singin’, the sun is shinin’, I wish the birds would shut up, actually, I can’t hear myself think. Have you noticed how many men are walkin about topless at the moment?

Don’t get me wrong I’m not complainin’, I haven’t seen a naked torso since I walked past the naked lady on Finchley Road last week. What a bloody sight she is these days. Gives me a shock is all.

Anyway, I hope I don’t come across vulgar sayin this but me and Hetty was readin’ The Sunday Times Rich List a few days ago looking for old, single, billionaires and we realised that so many of them at the top are Jewish this year! Such nachus.

But we also agreed that tellin’ folk how much money us Jews have in the bank never did us much good either. I don’t mind tellin’ you all that I got about 3p.

My favourite irreverent comedienne Sarah Silverman is in a new film and I am so glad. It is called A Million Ways To Die In The West, and it is set in 1882.

Jet black haired Silverman plays a prostitute which my grandson Joe is very excited about. He loves her potty mouth and says she reminds him of Hetty. Me and Hetty once had the funniest swearing competition but it did result in us not speaking for a year, which was a shame. Though I could do with some space again.

We went to Barry Manilow at Wembley last week and – OY VEY – can that man still throw a concert. When he launched into Copacabana, Hetty got Parma Ham stuck in her throat and started choking. It was so embarrassing because we didn’t want Barry to know we was eating non kosher food at his concert and she made a right bloody scene.

I am off to get my chicken from Golders Green now. Hopefully the butcher has enough self control not to be topless when I get there. There’s already enough meat on show in there, I don’t think my eyes could handle it.

See ya!