Edinburgh Fringe: A Loser’s Guide

To be a comedian you have to be one part egotist, one part narcissist and one part masochist. Why else would you want to stand in front of a room full of strangers with the sole intention of trying to make them laugh? It’s a ridiculous job. And this month I will have been doing it professionally for 25 years.

And in August, after a five-year break, I will be returning to the Edinburgh Festival to set up my stall at the annual Performance Trade Show.

As I am both Jewish and Welsh, and this is my Silver Jewbilee, my show was initially going to be called Mazel Taff but I’ve now changed it. The show is now called Loser.

Why ‘Loser’ you ask? Well, firstly, thanks for asking. There are a number of reasons I went with this title. On a personal/vanity level it’s because I have lost my hair, lost my youthfulness and lost my ability to drink a pint of beer without going to the toilet 58 times.

I am also a loser because, over the years, I have lost my jobs as a wine waiter, pizza deliverer and grave digger. I have also lost my identity (it was stolen, which left me penniless and homeless), lost out on winning a BAFTA (I was shortlisted) and I lost the chance to have my own sitcom on TV (long story, it’s in the show).

And of course, only a loser would spend thousands of pounds to take their show to the Edinburgh Festival on the off-chance that people will come and see it. And thousands is no exaggeration. Allow me to explain. Firstly, a show should be listed in the Festival magazine. This will cost between £300 and £500. Posters and leaflets are another £200/£300. Then there is PR. I always do my own (what a loser!) but others spend between £2,000 and £5,000. Is it worth it? Well if you receive a lot of press interest and it leads to a tour and appearing on TV then yes. But there are a LOT of PR companies all reaching out to the same people. Then there’s the venue hire. Again, thousands. This year I am performing at the Free Fringe, which I have done several times in the past. I love the ethos of it. The fact that the artists don’t pay for the venue and the punters (that’s you) don’t HAVE to pay to see the show is a lovely concept. Yes a performer has to make a ‘bucket speech’ at the end when they beg the audience for money, but most audiences are understanding of the costs and donate generously. (This year, as I do with all my book sales, I will be giving a percentage of my takings to Dementia UK.) Then of course, there is the cost of accommodation. This can range from overpriced to infinity. People let out their houses/flats/studios/caravans/tents for a month and make a fortune. There is a hotel in Edinburgh which normally charges £45 a night. During the festival it charges over £300. And people pay.

It’s also incredibly stressful, scary and nerve-racking. The definition of the Yiddish word shpilkes is ‘to perform a new show at the Edinburgh Festival’. Of course, I’m not the only Jewish person performing there this year – there will be a few of us. Not enough for a minyan but enough to meet up together and complain about everything.

So why am I bothering? Well, the festival has been pretty good to me over the years. My first ever show, It Wasn’t Me It Was Bennett Arron, led to my writing, directing and presenting a Channel 4 documentary. My next show, Jewelsh, led to two Radio series, both of which were nominated for the Celtic Media Awards (I was a finalist, not the winner. So… a Loser). It also resulted in the BBC Wales documentary The Kosher Comedian, in which I traced my family’s roots from Lithuania to South Wales and found out a reason for the decline of Jews in Wales. I wanted to call the programme Jew Do You Think You Are? But they wouldn’t let me.

Also, this is my job, and, since lockdown I have discovered a new enjoyment in it. And the fact that I have made a living and raised a family through making people laugh is a lovely feeling. I know I’m not a household name, and I’ve never performed on Live at The Apollo or Have I Got News For You? but that’s genuinely out of choice. Not my choice of course. But does that really make me a loser? Come and find out…

Bennett Arron: Loser will be at the Liquid Rooms Annexe at 4:15pm from August 5th – August 28th inclusive. But you’ll probably forget…. www.bennettarron.com

To see Jewish News’ pick of the 10 best Jewish shows at the Edinburgh Festival click here