Jewish comedian mourns for his lost love Olivia Newton-John
For Bennett Arron there was only one woman (it's ok, his wife knows). The comedian, author and star of Radio 4's popular comedy series, Alone reveals his lifetime crush
A woman I never met has passed away. And I feel devastated.
When I was a teenager, I saw the film Grease for the first time. To say it changed my life is not an exaggeration. Until then I had been a short, fairly unpopular boy in school. Although I remained short, through watching Grease I discovered I had an ability to dance, albeit a limited ability which helped me to become slightly more popular – with girls anyway.
I knew, and still know, every move to Greased Lightning, Summer Nights, You’re The One That I Want etc. But not only did that film open my eyes to dancing, it also gave me my first ever crush. A crush that lasted to this day.
Olivia Newton-John was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And she wasn’t much older than me!! (Yes, it was only later I discovered she was actually 29 at the time! Not that it mattered of course.)
I loved Grease. However, although I have seen it over 30 times, it was only on the last viewing that I realised what the moral of the film actually is. The moral is; don’t be yourself but change for the other person – if you’re a woman. Because, by the end of the film, Sandy (Olivia’s character) had changed from being a demure, virginal young girl to a woman who smokes, put on loads of make-up and wears tight leather trousers. To be fair Danny (John Travolta’s character) also changed, in so much as he wore a brand new cardie.
But from the moment I saw that film I was besotted. I bought every Olivia Newton-John album and every available poster. Over the years I saw every film in which she appeared, including Xanadu of course and the re-teaming with John Travolta in Two of A Kind. This wasn’t the best of movies to be honest, but it didn’t matter. Olivia was in it. And the track “Twist of Fate” from the film was great. In addition to this, every year, on 26th September, I would send a birthday card to her agent in the US and ask for it to be passed on to Olivia. (I won’t reveal the age I was when stopped doing this, but suffice to say it went on a little longer than you’d expect!)
I used to have this teenage fantasy that one day there’d be a knock on my door and Olivia would be there. Her car had broken down and she wanted to know if she could use our phone. I, of course allowed her to use our phone and from that moment on we’d become great friends. This Pre-mobile fantasy was pure joy (although there were other elements to it that were less pure which I’m not prepared to share). It was also devoid of logic, as the chances of her driving herself back to Los Angeles via Port Talbot, my home town were pretty slim. But teenage fantasies defy logic.
My last show at the Edinburgh festival in 2018 was called “I’ve Never Told Anyone This” which was basically a love letter to Olivia Newton-John. I talked about the lifelong crush I’d had on her and showed a letter I’d written to my future self, which was assigned as English homework. In it I saw myself reaching the ripe old age of 30 and in all likelihood being married to Olivia Newton-John. I also assumed that I’d have a flying car –not dissimilar to Danny’s in Grease. In retrospect, this was just as unlikely.
When I wrote my romantic comedy novel, I initially called it Hopelessly Devoted. However, my then agent thought it wasn’t right, so I went with The Girl From the Discotheque* instead. I sort of wish I had stuck with my first idea. My devotion to the girl from Oz would then be in print for all time.
I never doubted Olivia and I would have got on well. Especially as we actually had quite a lot in common. I’m Jewish and Welsh, and she had Jewish and Welsh ancestry. Her dad was from Cardiff and her maternal grandfather was the Jewish Nobel prize-winning physicist Max Born who had fled to Britain from Germany just before World War II to escape the Nazis. I wanted to chat to her about all of this when we eventually met, stranded at a drive-in (there is now a drive-in cinema at Margam Park in Port Talbot) or maybe at The Frosty Palace which was the place to be go if you went to Rydell High. I was convinced I’d meet Olivia one day and knowing this will now never happen is really sad.
I always promised myself that, if she ever toured in this country, I would go and see her and in 2013 she performed at a concert at The Royal Albert Hall. But no one would go with me. And foolishly I didn’t want to go on my own. I regretted not going then and I regret it so much more now. With her premature passing my teen fantasy is shrouded in sorrow
So rest in peace Olivia. You were the one that I wanted and I honestly loved you.
The Girl From The Discotheque is available at www.amazon.co.uk 20% of all sales goes to Dementia Research
Alone is on BBC Radio 2 on Tuesdays and iplayer
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