Leap of Faith: Explaining the war in Ukraine to Children

This year the journey we are now on from Purim to Pesach, two festivals which each present despotic and hateful leaders and the harm they can cause to others, is paralleled in time by a cruel and violent invasion of Ukraine and the unfolding refugee crisis as a result.

In Purim’s reminder of the power of individual acts of bravery, and in the Haggadah’s text and the way it holds conversation, we can find some wisdom to support us in discussing todays’ issues with children.

The Torah, says the Haggadah, speaks of four children. One child has copious factual knowledge, one a simple understanding, one struggles to see himself in the story, and one doesn’t know how to ask at all. Each one of the children is spoken to according to his needs. The seder does not deal with easy subject matter, but it does help us to think about how we might engage with young (and not so young) people around us.

The individual with much factual knowledge may present as well equipped, but knowledge and understanding are different things. He or she may tell you of the things they have seen on the news, and you might ask this child if the news makes them want to ask you any questions? You might even tell them: “When I watch the news it makes me feel…” so that they can continue to learn.

The individual who has a simple understanding, perhaps a younger child who knows only that there is a sad thing happening, might need simple reassurance. They may need to know that if they see or hear anything that worries them, they can tell you, and this may be all they need to know. We might ask them what they have heard so we can respond in an age-appropriate way. There will always be time to learn more.

The individual who struggles to relate may be helped by the story of the Seder itself. Our ancestors had to leave their homes, and it was hard for them, but we remember all the kind things people did to help. Now there are other people who are in danger, and it is our turn to help them.

Perhaps most crucially our tradition hands down to us the idea that even the child that doesn’t know how to ask is aware of the situation that is around them. Even the youngest children senses when adults are scared or upset. For these children, we can keep the order (the seder) of life stable, with reassuring routine and reminders of love and care.