Leap of faith: How to meet with those imposters triumph and disaster
Why are we so bad at dealing with disappointment?
Along with the sense of inevitability when Mikel Oyarzabal scored Spain’s winner in the 86th minute came a kind of relief: once again England men’s football team were not going to win a major tournament. The order of the universe had not been disturbed. We’re so used to disappointment – anything else would have confused us. Meanwhile in my neighbourhood in the West End of Glasgow, that goal was widely celebrated: the delight with which many Scots greet England’s defeats mirrors the joyful manifestations of Scottish identity so admired by their hosts on their short visit to Germany last month.
Even for an Englishman, there is much to admire in the passion of Scotland’s football fans. At festival morning services in my synagogue, I tell the modestly-sized congregation that our singing of the Hallel psalms is a pale imitation of how our ancestors used to chant them joyfully as they danced to the Temple in Jerusalem. I make a comparison with the Tartan Army on their way to a Scotland game – an exuberant display of a unique cultural identity with kilts, Tam O’Shanter hats and bagpipes. I always say on their way to a game, the journey back is rarely as jubilant…
Dealing with disappointment in the football arena is a challenge the Scots and the English share. Often this disappointment expresses itself in violence – property is vandalised, supporters of rival teams are attacked, even families are at risk. Studies show that incidents of domestic abuse increase dramatically after an England defeat. Why are we so bad at coping with disappointment?
We are living in what might be called an ‘Age of Entitlement’. In so many different ways, our wishes and desires can be easily fulfilled and gratified – with a click on a keyboard, the wave of a contactless credit card. We have learned to expect instant success and are ill-equipped to deal with failure.
Perhaps the biblical story of Job can teach us something here. Battered by misfortune and tragedy, Job maintains his faith in God and refuses to become cynical. Patience, faith and a sense of perspective are needed in the face of disappointment and defeat. Sometimes things get taken out of proportion. As the late, great Bill Shankly said: “Some people think football is a matter of life and death.” But, as if to prove that need for perspective, he went on to say: “I can assure you it’s much more serious than that.”
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