Leap of Faith: judging others
We should welcome the new year with positive feelings towards others and ourselves
A key prayer of the High Holyday liturgy is the Unetanneh Tokaf : “On this day you sit on your throne. For truly you are Judge, Arbiter, Expert and Witness. You write and seal, record and recount. You open the book of records and what is written there proclaims itself….”
The scene is vividly portrayed – God sitting in judgement over every human being, getting a reminder of what we had been up to in the year just past and giving sentence on our fate for the year to come. Fortunately, before the sentence is given we are reminded, “repentance, prayer and good deeds annul the severity of the decree.”
As such it is a charming picture, but most people will not take it literally, yet still, if we are to take the message of Rosh Hashanah seriously, if it is not God doing it, we have to judge ourselves. If God needed to consult the book of records, how can we be expected to remember all the actions we took against others, the words we spoke, the tone of those words, the occasions we were less than kind?
Too many errors for mere humans to recall. But maybe, if we are serious, we can recall just a few, a few key moments when we were less than noble and endeavour to try in the year ahead not to commit those wrongs.
Judge ourselves, but what about judging others? In Pirke Avot (1:6) Joshua ben Perachyah said: “Get yourself a teacher, acquire a companion and give everyone the benefit of the doubt.” His advice implies that the sensible person mixes in society, learns from others, makes friends; but then a valuable word about how we keep those friends: “give everyone the benefit of the doubt” or maybe “do not prejudge people.” Sometimes this is hard to do.
There was a tradition that in Elul, the month before Rosh Hashanah, we should actually go to friends and acquaintances and ask their forgiveness for wrongs we might have done them. If not then, do so in the Ten Days of Repentance before Yom Kippur comes. Some wrongs, the serious ones, we might recall -some errors of judgement or action that we never noticed we had committed. Often it is the ones we might think insignificant that hurt the most. Takes courage to do, but psychologically so worthwhile.
What about the slights or insults we feel others have done to us and we do not find a moment to talk to them about them? Perhaps it is best to also take Rabbi Joshua’s advice: “Give everyone the benefit of the doubt.”
Maybe we were mistaken, maybe they didn’t mean to hurt us. Either way, move on and welcome the new year with a clear conscience and positive feelings towards others and towards ourselves.
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