Leap of Faith: our changing society
How does Progressive Judaism embrace today’s differing family set ups?
On Seder night in my synagogue, between the various blessings and instructions, I looked around the room, marvelling at the diversity of the crowd who came together to celebrate our liberation from Egypt.
I saw the couple whose one spouse wasn’t Jewish and yet very committed to the life of the synagogue, the two women trying to build a family together, the single parent with her child, and the ‘traditional’ family with a Jewish mother and mother who raise their children in our tradition. Some of the parents are not married. Others have built a blended family, bringing together children from previous marriages. And I said to myself, this is the new face of my people, at least in the Progressive part of it – individuals coming together, united by their love of Judaism and their longings for meaning, with so many different backgrounds, and yet feeling a strong sense of belonging to the community.
In the grand scheme of things, this new reality is quite recent. Not so long ago, the ‘ideal’ family was a unit in which the children resided with both biological parents, with a working father and a stay-at-home mother who would look after the household. This model remained uncontested for many centuries. Indeed, in our Torah, the roles within the family were clearly defined, or so they wanted to believe. Fathers would be at the top of the family hierarchy and they all lived together, more or less happily, more or less dysfunctional.
In the last few decades, things have started to change. Women have reclaimed their rightful place in society – not on the margins, but as equal partners with men. The situation is far from being equal just yet, but it is a work in progress. Divorce rate is at a record level high. Blended families are common. Individuals raise their children alone. Same-sex couples have children. When it comes to choosing a partner, religious background is not that important anymore.
Our Progressive movements and communities reflect these changes in the wider world. When society changes, there are two options. One is to resist them, promoting a model that seems to be the right one, because it is the traditional one, with the risk of creating a fantasised better past. Or we accompany change. It would be a mistake to believe that everything new is necessarily better than the old, or on the contrary, that the old is always better than the new. Therein lies, I believe, the strength of Progressive Judaism. We are not shy in embracing novelty, but it is always done in the light of the highest ethical values of Judaism. We are invited to explore modernity and post modernity, but always asking ourselves the question: are we losing our bearings? This is why community is so important: it is a place where we come together, explore our tradition and embrace Jewish diversity.
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