Lessons from a levaya: life even in death

This afternoon, I paid my respects to the mother of a close and much-loved friend.

Cursing the traffic (obviously) and going to Bushey Old Cemetery instead of Bushey New Cemetery (idiot), as is expected at any Jewish occasion, sad or celebratory, a mass of mourners had congregated.

Jews at events have perfected the art of the ‘scan’. It’s a barely perceived flicker (if you’ve perfected it, otherwise it’s a glare) of the eyes to see who is there, who to avoid (in which case, use the ‘glare’) and who to stand with in solidarity.

Beckoned into the mourners room, we assemble as usual. But what followed today was nothing ‘usual’. It was so beautiful and life-affirming that it reduced the majority of friends, family, clients and associates to tears.

With tributes from a mourning husband, daughter, grandson and sister, it was abundantly clear that we were paying tribute to a true matriarch. The love of her husband’s life, a mother to three and a simply adored grandmother to nine.

The words were poignant, soul-piercing and heartfelt. The resounding message was this was not goodbye, but the beginning of the next journey and one where they would all meet again. That the mourners would carry with them always the soul of this most beloved woman.

The strength of family was undeniable. The sheer force of feeling in the room was testament to a life well lived, a woman much loved.

If the one thing we leave behind in this world is an unshakeable sense of family, heritage, love and tradition, then we have done well.

A long legacy of life, even after death.

Written in tribute to Daniele Bull, co-founder of Joel & Sons Fabrics emporium in Church Street and the beloved mother of my beautiful friend, Theresa Elf.