Making Sense of the Sedra: Acharei Mot – Kedoshim

As part of the celebrations for the Coronation of King Charles, we are being encouraged to volunteer in our local communities and join in with The Big Help Out on Monday 8th May. Chesed (kindness) is a fundamental pillar of Judaism: “The world stands on three things – on Torah, on avodah (work/service of Hashem/self sacrifice), and on kindness.” (Pirkei Avot 1:2.) It is easy, enjoyable and rewarding to act charitably towards people and organisations that are close to our hearts, but it can be harder to feel positively towards people with whom we are not connected or with whom we have conflicting views.

This week’s Torah reading, Acharei Mot – Kedoshim, reflects this issue in possibly the most misquoted verse in the Torah – “…love your neighbour as yourself…” (Vayikra 19:18). The whole verse actually reads: “Do not take revenge, do not bear a grudge, love your neighbour as yourself, I am Hashem.” People cannot turn their feelings on or off on demand. How can we be commanded to feel? Perhaps someone has severely wronged us and we feel strongly that we need to act in retaliation. What if we can’t forgive and forget? Can we not hold a grudge against someone who has hurt us in the past? We might be able to feel love towards our friends and family, but the verse does not discriminate – what if our neighbour is an unsavoury or rude character? And what does “I am Hashem” add to the verse?

All of these statements can refer to our feelings, and also to our actions. Whilst our actions are demonstrable, our feelings are internal. Humans are complex beings and, unlike animals, we do not have to act on instinct and are able to control our feelings and behave in a way that is not in sync with our emotions. Without external manifestations of our feelings, other people may not know how we feel towards them. However we may feel internally, our actions can outwardly demonstrate how we relate to others even if that is incongruent with our feelings. In addition, if we repeatedly act in positive ways towards someone else and invest time and effort in them, we may find that our feelings towards them grow in a similarly positive way.

Sometimes it can be hard to find redeeming qualities in others if their behaviour is extremely offensive. Even so, everyone is created in the image of God and we all have a spark of godliness within us. Perhaps ‘I am Hashem’ is a nudge to remind us that even if we are struggling to find positive feelings, every person was created for a reason and has a purpose in the world so, if all else fails, start by looking for that spark and go from there. It may also be that ‘I am Hashem’ is there to remind us that regardless of how we act, only we and Hashem know our true thoughts and emotions. Even if we act kindly on the outside, we may still have some personal growth work to do to develop our feelings and integrity. Finally, the verse contains three stages, listed from easiest to most difficult. It may be too much to ask for a person to love someone else if the relationship is toxic. Judaism is not an ‘all or nothing’ religion’; even if we are able to refrain from taking revenge, that is also a mitzvah in its own right.