Making Sense of the Sedra: Behaalotecha

Do you ever ask yourself: “What is my ‘why’?” I am not talking about the big-decision whys, or the life-altering whys, and not even the what-gives-your-life-meaning whys.

Have you ever been in a discussion in which one person is getting particularly invested, particularly opinionated, particularly heated? This is often because there is a hidden ‘why’. A motive, a reason behind it. Perhaps the topic hit a raw nerve, perhaps the business being discussed is owned by a family member or perhaps that person has a history with the topic at hand. Sometimes the motive is obvious and sometimes, even to the person themselves, it is not.

The Torah reading of this week, parshat Behaalotecha, tells us about a group of people, part of the Jewish People, who approach Moshe with a problem (Bamidbar 9:6). During Pesach, this group were ritually impure and therefore unable to offer the Pesach offering. Saddened by the missed opportunity, and at the same time very eager in their service of God, they ask Moshe what can be done. Moshe (on behalf of God) offers them the solution: Pesach Sheni, a second Pesach, and therefore a second chance.

A little bit later we read about Yehoshua, Moshe’s successor. When he sees two men running through the camp desecrating God’s name, he doesn’t hesitate and steps up to protect Moshe’s and therefore God’s name (Bamidbar 11:28). Yet, he is not rewarded for his eagerness. It is misplaced and Moshe rebukes him for it.

The word for envy or jealousy in Hebrew is kinnah, the same word that is used for zeal, eagerness. This is a reflection of how one middah (characteristic) can be used in two ways. And, not coincidentally, the same word which is used when describing Yehoshua’s actions. Having kinnah can lead to the worst of sins, as we read in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers 4:21): “Envy, lust and honour drive a person from the world”. However, when used correctly, zealousness can lead to higher heights in our service of God, as can be seen by the group of people who received their second chance, Pesach Sheni. With their zeal, they created another opportunity to serve God, another way of expressing their love for God.

The difference between a positive and a negative kinnah  is the ‘why’. Why are you so invested in that topic? Why are you so interested in finding out more, in delving deeper? Is it a true desire to become a better human, a better Eved Hashem (servant of God) or is there another motive? It takes true, brutal honesty with oneself to get to that answer. But however peculiar the question, it is definitely one worth asking.