Making Sense of the Sedra: Vayera

In the current cost-of-living crisis, some supermarkets are offering soup, a roll, unlimited cups of tea and the opportunity to sit in their cafes and keep warm for over-60s in a bid to help those who are struggling to afford food and central heating in their homes. In the past year, we have seen families open their doors and offer Ukrainian refugees a safe haven to those escaping war. Some synagogue communities have an ‘adopt a grandparent’ programme to encourage families to reach out to older members of their community who don’t have family living nearby, and invite them to spend Shabbat and festivals with them regularly.

The paradigm for home-hospitality comes from this week’s Torah portion, Vayera, which opens with the story of Abraham welcoming three desert travellers into his home. Despite being three days after brit milah surgery, Abraham was sitting in the entrance of his tent, actively looking for guests. Whilst we know that they were angels, Abraham thought they were three regular men who he greeted warmly, calling them “My lords!” In that place at that time, it was a safe assumption that these men were Arab idol worshippers. Nevertheless, they were treated like kings and were shown utmost respect and kindness. It’s very easy for us to welcome our friends, family and like-minded people into our homes, but it can be less easy to welcome those who have fundamentally different views to us or those who are often overlooked.

As much as doors can be opened to welcome people in, they are also boundaries to keep unwanted people out and protect our households. As the practice was for these men to bow to the dust on their feet in worship, Abraham offered them water to bathe their feet as a way of leaving that influence outside his home. Our homes have more ‘doors’ than ever before in terms of ways that external factors can come in. TV, internet, phones, watches, even our fridges can be portals for the outside to make its way in uninvited. We can take a lesson from Abraham, that as much as we can welcome in external guests, we must also be prudent in thinking about firewalls and safeguards to filter out unwanted influences. Equally, we can hold opposing views to others or disagree with their choices and still be welcoming and friendly.

This mitzvah of hospitality comes under the wider umbrella of chesed, from v’ahavta l’rei’echa kamocha – wanting for our neighbours what we want for ourselves. Using this metric is a helpful tool in measuring how we treat our guests by considering how we would want to be treated in someone else’s home. Chesed, acts of loving-kindness, should be driven by the needs of the recipients, not by our need to give. Over-giving can lead to the recipient feeling uncomfortable or that they are a burden to the host, which is counterproductive. Tehillim 89:3 tells us that the world was built on kindness. Whilst Hashem has no needs, He created a world in order to give to mankind and to give us exactly what we need. In welcoming guests and giving them based on their needs, we are not only emulating Abraham but Hashem Himself.