Progressively Speaking: Caroline Flack’s death shows why every word matters….
Rabbi Mark Goldsmith reflects on a topical issue with a progressive Jewish response
“Empathy and kindness is all we can truly strive towards.” These words were written by TV presenter Stacey Solomon in reaction to the death by suicide of her fellow presenter, Caroline Flack.
You can never know the full reasons and motivations that cause someone to take their own life. It is always a tragic and awful course of action.
In Caroline Flack’s case she had herself written about the sense of being judged unkindly on everything that she did, wore and said in a constant trial by social media.
She was about to stand trial for her alleged assault of her boyfriend in 2019, and the unkindness being meted out to her in the lead up from people who did not know her was relentless.
It was as if being a celebrity with any kind of talent makes you a fair target for anyone who wants to hurt another person.
Our Talmud often cites extreme examples to shock us into good and empathetic behaviour. One of them, cited in Talmud Chullin (94a), gives the example of what unkind thoughtlessness can do even if completely unintentional.
The text cites an incident involving a person who sent a barrel of wine to another person as a gift.
This barrel of wine had oil floating on top of it, probably intended to seal the wine from being tainted by air.
The giver did not explain what the contents were and the receiver invited guests to come and share his good fortune. He intended to give them expensive oil to take home.
He opened the barrel, dipped in beneath the layer of oil, and discovered that it was just cheap wine. In his shame at having deceived them, the receiver hanged himself and died.
How could the giver have known this would be the consequence of his careless gift giving? He couldn’t, and that was the Rabbis’ point.
Always do the kind and empathetic thing, because you never know what might be the consequences of being even the slightest bit unkind.
If only Caroline Flack’s persecutors has followed that principle, and if only those who continue to spread hate on social media and other channels could learn from it and desist.
Rabbi Mark Goldsmith is senior rabbi of Edgware and Hendon Reform Synagogue
Thank you for helping to make Jewish News the leading source of news and opinion for the UK Jewish community. Today we're asking for your invaluable help to continue putting our community first in everything we do.
For as little as £5 a month you can help sustain the vital work we do in celebrating and standing up for Jewish life in Britain.
Jewish News holds our community together and keeps us connected. Like a synagogue, it’s where people turn to feel part of something bigger. It also proudly shows the rest of Britain the vibrancy and rich culture of modern Jewish life.
You can make a quick and easy one-off or monthly contribution of £5, £10, £20 or any other sum you’re comfortable with.
100% of your donation will help us continue celebrating our community, in all its dynamic diversity...
Engaging
Being a community platform means so much more than producing a newspaper and website. One of our proudest roles is media partnering with our invaluable charities to amplify the outstanding work they do to help us all.
Celebrating
There’s no shortage of oys in the world but Jewish News takes every opportunity to celebrate the joys too, through projects like Night of Heroes, 40 Under 40 and other compelling countdowns that make the community kvell with pride.
Pioneering
In the first collaboration between media outlets from different faiths, Jewish News worked with British Muslim TV and Church Times to produce a list of young activists leading the way on interfaith understanding.
Campaigning
Royal Mail issued a stamp honouring Holocaust hero Sir Nicholas Winton after a Jewish News campaign attracted more than 100,000 backers. Jewish Newsalso produces special editions of the paper highlighting pressing issues including mental health and Holocaust remembrance.
Easy access
In an age when news is readily accessible, Jewish News provides high-quality content free online and offline, removing any financial barriers to connecting people.
Voice of our community to wider society
The Jewish News team regularly appears on TV, radio and on the pages of the national press to comment on stories about the Jewish community. Easy access to the paper on the streets of London also means Jewish News provides an invaluable window into the community for the country at large.
We hope you agree all this is worth preserving.
