The Lighter Side: The real housewives, cute puppies and saving the simcha!

Where there’s a will, there’s OY VEY

Let’s talk about SIX. Not the brilliant musical about Henry VIII’s wives, but ‘SIX’ as in the number of people now allowed in your home. Or outside it. 

Is there anyone who didn’t shout  ‘damn it!’ when Boris delivered the cruel social blow on Sept 9? Just as we were savouring the thrill of interacting with 30, the PM pulled the rug from under our guests’ feet, upsetting every hostess who had already placed her Rosh Hashanah order at Louis Mann.

Now sharing honey and apple is only permitted with a core clan of SIX, but families are not about even numbers. What becomes of the stray singletons, widowed relatives and lonely neighbours over the chagim?

Do they get dropped from the list in order to comply with the new rules? Isn’t maintaining their well-being part of our High Holy Day righteousness (Tzedadah)?

Obviously we want our nearest and dearest to be well (pah,pah pah) but socially-distancing for Jews is the result of a broiges and being disinvited is where that starts.

For the law-abiding there’s no alternative, though I’m convinced with some filmic inspiration, Boris might have been kinder with his numbers. Oceans 11, 12 Angry Men and Apollo 13  are all workable, but he went with Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, so we’re stuck with ‘Two households, both alike in dignity”.

Still if you think SIX is a disaster for you, spare a thought  for the simcha industry.

Slashing the numbers has  crushed every event planner, caterer, photographer,  DJ and any other function facilitator who makes our parties memorable. Already engulfed by spring cancellations and deposit refunds, many were thrown a lifeline with 30, but subtracting 24 is a numerical travesty.

Those with future bookings tried to squeeze their events into last weekend before the Monday bell tolled, but for others it’s a waiting game.

This week I spoke to Natalie Davis, founder of Pop Fusion, a cosmetic entertainment company  bringing the bling to big nights. A well-known face on the circuit, Her Five Minutes with… online chat supports simcha providers in their quest to survive and allows them to share their tsorus. But Natalie is not defeatist and along with having a baby during lockdown, she also produced some blistering ideas for ways to continue if restrictions prevail. I seriously hope that SIX is short-lived, for as one Sunday paper stressed ‘They can’t cancel Christmas’– but what about Yom Kippur? With so much to feel sorry about we need it more than ever and I will be virtually praying on Saaturday for good health and simcha returns. You see on Saturday my 13-year-old daughter (a virtual bat mitzvah survivor) went to a friend’s simcha and her smile  at the end of the night warmed my heart. I realised I’d missed the dresses, dancing and named hoodies as much as her and probably you. A reduced Rosh Hashanah and stripped back celebrations is not what we want, but I’ll work with SIX until I can invite you all. 

PS. Don’t holdback on that eventual simcha spend if it makes you happy.

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Who let the Dogs IN?

In our fabulous Rosh Hashannah magazine now online, we featured the puppies purchased during lockdown.

Some were missed, so please meet Cavapoo Ronnie Rufus Silver, Tibetan Terrier Deeney Rose and labrador Freddie Colton.

Evidently the presence of pups at school gates is causing more confusion than the double-parked 4X4s, but the dogs are better at reversing. Please send more pics!

For Real

Real Housewives fans will be as excited as me to hear that the new franchise is in Salt Lake City and stars Jewish jeweller Meredith Marks. As they are in Mormon country I’m sure there will be some testy moments in the series which starts on hayu in November.

Even Jewish Care was surprised when they realised Mitch Winehouse, was among their volunteers delivering Meals on Wheels to clients.

As the father of music legend Amy who died in 2011, charity is as important as it was  for his daughter who worked with disadvantaged children and the Foundation in her name helps young women overcome drug and alcohol addiction.

Amy enjoyed her dad’s singing as much as Betty Pam will the next time he wheels meals to her home.

Big Apple

It’s all about  apples and pomegranates now, but my love of the fruits continues post-rosh hashanah in pies and potions. Creams featured in last week’s mag, but not the excellent Infinite by Forever Hydrating Cleanser £25.50 and Forever Restoring Crème £56.33. The former has apple extract and apple amino acid mixed with cocoa fatty acids which is really hydrating and not sticky and drying like other washes. The crème is loaded with aloe acai, pomegranate, and vitamin B3 to even out tone and smooth parched old skin like mine . www.foreverbyglen.com

Break the love fast

Lockdown certainly scuppered chances of meeting a mate,so now we’re down to socialising with SIX,  one date would be a memorable miracle, let alone the 50 forgettable ones enjoyed by Adam Sandler. Help is at hand with We Go Together, a completely free of charge introduction service for members of the London Jewish community aged between 30 and 78. Featured on our wrap We Go Together could bring romance to the life of your child or your own. Just think,you could be breaking the fast with your new soul mate. www.wegotogether.net