Leap of faith: Lighten the loneliness at Chanukah
This is not a happy time for everyone - how can we help ourselves and each other?
Feeling alone isn’t easy. I say “feeling” alone because some people are at their most lonely among others, while others are physically on their own.
This time of year can often be challenging, not because most of us are in the throes of elaborate Christmas celebrations but because wherever you look there are depictions of happy families sitting down to cosy, festive meals. These images and the chatter about how to cater for the once-a-year feast leave many of us bewildered and smug, thinking it’s nothing more than a guntza Friday night dinner, something we might rustle up weekly for twice as many hungry, tired relatives than the average household hosts on 25 December.
Yet for many this period is an interminably long bank holiday, and the loneliness and isolation can feel unbearable. The dark, cold days might be peaceful and relaxing for some, but for those who are not choosing to be alone it can feel physically painful. Many people manage to control their propensity towards depression or anxiety by routine and structures, so take that away and this is often the time they struggle most. So, what can we do?
Don’t make assumptions – don’t assume everyone else has scheduled fun woven into every day with relatives they adore being with. It isn’t how the world is nor how families are. Not only are many families spread around the globe but if we scratch beneath the surface, not all families are happy ones – far from it. So don’t be afraid to ask people if you can join their family gatherings – you might even be doing them a favour.
Judaism is 365 days a year – it doesn’t stop for bank holidays and the beautiful timing of Chanukah this year means there is no time off for the Jewish professional. Find candle lightings near you, get to JW3’s panto or Limmud. Throw yourself into your Judaism – attend Shabbat services and daily minyanim in person or online to feel a sense of community around you. Even if you are on your own, light your Chanukah candles and use the light to bring joy and connection into your life. If it feels strange to sing the blessings alone find a candle lighting online to join along with. Use those lights to think about what brings the light and joy into your darkness and connect yourself with generations past and those yet to come.
Think about what you need to make this time easier. Find reasons to make yourself go outdoors. Consider a voluntary role with JVN to give yourself a sense of purpose; reach out to someone you have been meaning to reconnect with?
In Pirkei Avot Rabbi Hillel says: “Do not separate yourself from the community.” He knew that the community needs us as much as we need the community. Be the light in someone else’s darkness this Chanukah – while turning up might be exactly what you need, it’s most likely what they need from you too.
Thank you for helping to make Jewish News the leading source of news and opinion for the UK Jewish community. Today we're asking for your invaluable help to continue putting our community first in everything we do.
For as little as £5 a month you can help sustain the vital work we do in celebrating and standing up for Jewish life in Britain.
Jewish News holds our community together and keeps us connected. Like a synagogue, it’s where people turn to feel part of something bigger. It also proudly shows the rest of Britain the vibrancy and rich culture of modern Jewish life.
You can make a quick and easy one-off or monthly contribution of £5, £10, £20 or any other sum you’re comfortable with.
100% of your donation will help us continue celebrating our community, in all its dynamic diversity...
Engaging
Being a community platform means so much more than producing a newspaper and website. One of our proudest roles is media partnering with our invaluable charities to amplify the outstanding work they do to help us all.
Celebrating
There’s no shortage of oys in the world but Jewish News takes every opportunity to celebrate the joys too, through projects like Night of Heroes, 40 Under 40 and other compelling countdowns that make the community kvell with pride.
Pioneering
In the first collaboration between media outlets from different faiths, Jewish News worked with British Muslim TV and Church Times to produce a list of young activists leading the way on interfaith understanding.
Campaigning
Royal Mail issued a stamp honouring Holocaust hero Sir Nicholas Winton after a Jewish News campaign attracted more than 100,000 backers. Jewish Newsalso produces special editions of the paper highlighting pressing issues including mental health and Holocaust remembrance.
Easy access
In an age when news is readily accessible, Jewish News provides high-quality content free online and offline, removing any financial barriers to connecting people.
Voice of our community to wider society
The Jewish News team regularly appears on TV, radio and on the pages of the national press to comment on stories about the Jewish community. Easy access to the paper on the streets of London also means Jewish News provides an invaluable window into the community for the country at large.
We hope you agree all this is worth preserving.
