Making sense of the sedra: Matot-Masei
The importance of building a home
During the Blitz in London during World War II, many families lost their houses overnight. Yet one teacher later recalled that the children who adapted best were not those whose parents managed to save the most belongings, but those whose parents preserved the atmosphere of home.
Even in cramped bomb shelters, they insisted on family meals, bedtime stories, prayers and songs. The furniture was gone, but the values remained. Years later, many of those children said they never felt they had truly “lost home”. Their parents had understood that a house is made of bricks, but a home is built through the environment, priorities and values that a family creates together.
In parshat Matot-Masei, the tribes of Reuven and Gad approach Moshe with a surprising request, asking to remain to the east of the Jordan River rather than enter Eretz Yisrael with the rest of Am Yisrael. In presenting their plan, they first mention building shelters for their livestock and only afterwards mention homes for their families (Bamidbar 32:16). Our sages (Tanchuma Matot 7) understand this as revealing a misplaced priority – concern for possessions before people.
How could these two tribes have miscalculated such basic priorities?
Following the wars in Parsha Chukat, Rashi states (Bamidbar 21:23) that God miraculously gathered the enemy nations together for battle. As a result, their cities remained easily conquered after Am Yisrael’s victory.
The Be’er Yosef explains that the tribes of Reuven and Gad assumed there was no urgent need to build homes for their families as suitable houses already existed. Their livestock, however, required additional shelter due to the sheer quantity of animals they possessed, hence their request to prioritise their animals.
Moshe understood their reasoning yet still corrected them. Even if physical homes already stood, a Jewish home cannot simply be inherited from the nations around us. A house filled with traces of idolatry and foreign values cannot automatically become a home fit for a Jewish family. Moshe therefore responds by reversing their order: “Build cities for your children and [then] enclosures for your sheep” (Bamidbar 32:24). Before worrying about material needs, first create the proper environment for your family to live and grow. He told them to “make the main thing the main thing”.
The message is deeply relevant. Raising children is not only about providing physical comfort or stability. It is about actively building an atmosphere conducive to holiness and growth. Children absorb far more from the environment we create than from the words we say. The homes we build ultimately shape the people our children become.
Rabbi Brendan Stern is at Hendon United Synagogue
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