Making sense of the sedra: Vayishlach
Putting other's needs before our own desires and duties makes us holy
One Kol Nidrei night, as the synagogue in Liozna waited for the Alter Rebbe – Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi – to begin the sacred Yom Kippur service, he suddenly removed his tallit, put down his machzor, and walked out.
The congregation waited in confusion while he made his way to the edge of the village, where a recently widowed woman lived alone with a newborn. He had sensed that she had no wood for a fire and was too weak from childbirth and fasting to care for the infant. The Alter Rebbe chopped the wood himself, lit the stove, prepared food for her, and tended to the baby until she regained her strength. Only then did he return to lead the Kol Nidrei service with his community.
When asked how he could interrupt the holiest moments of the year, he answered simply that there is no higher service of God than giving life and comfort to someone who has no one else. Even greater than speaking to God is to act like God, putting the needs and care of the downtrodden and disadvantaged ahead of your own.
“And Yaakov was left alone, and an ish (man) wrestled with him until the break of dawn” (Bereishit 32:25).
“Then an ish (man) found him [Yosef], and behold, he was straying in the field, and the man asked him, saying, ‘What are you looking for?’” (Bereishit 37:15)
Rashi tells us that the man in Yaakov’s episode was none other than Esav’s angel, and the man regarding Yosef was the angel Gavriel.
If the Torah uses the same word – ish – in both incidents, how do we know that one is a “positive” angel and the other “negative”?
Our sages (Chullin 91b) cite the dialogue between Yaakov and Esav’s angel. When Yaakov, having overcome the angel in their battle, asks the angel for a blessing, the angel does not want to bless him, saying “from the day I was created, my time to recite a song before God has not arrived, until now.” It is only when Yaakov insistently perseveres that the angel is forced to bless him before departing.
The angel with Yosef, on the other hand, proactively approaches Yosef and asks him what he is looking for and how he can be of help to him.
Says the Divrei Chaim of Sanz, the difference between an angel of Esav and the angel Gavriel is highlighted when someone needs a favour. The angel Gavriel is happy to assist, and goes out of his way to do so, whereas Esav’s angel puts his own needs “to sing to Hashem” ahead of others.
If you are not willing to put your own spiritual needs on the back burner for the sake of helping another, then you are on team Esav. To be a ‘Gavriel’, a positive angel, requires proactively prioritising the needs of your fellow even if it comes at the expense of your own spiritual growth.
Rabbi Brendan Stern is at Hendon United Synagogue
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