What is British Jewish culture?

Jewish Culture Month was launched last weekend at the Freud Museum in Hampstead. I did spend a little while wrapped in my late father’s tallis throwing fish balls at a life-sized model of my late mother constructed entirely of egg and onion, wondering why on earth we need a museum dedicated to Sigmund Freud when every Jewish family spends its every waking and, of course, sleeping – perchance even dreaming – moment proving his theories were grossly understated.

In order to unleash the appropriate chorus of Simun Tov and Mazel Tov in celebration of the first ever Jewish Culture Month, we must first answer a question which would frankly stump even the Rambam. What do we think is the encapsulation, the apotheosis of British Jewish culture?

Could the glistening latke of British culture be Howard Jacobson schmearing a bagel (or as Maimonides would correctly say, a beigel) with hummus and passing it to Rabbi Mirvis in the theatre stalls as Simon Lipkin (Jewish) as Fagin (Jewish) sings” “You’ve got to pick a pocket or two” in Lionel Bart’s (Jewish) musical Oliver? (Don’t mention Charles Dickens – alas, Gentile but it wasn’t his fault.)

Or could it be David Baddiel, with a mouthful of shakshuka at Ottolenghi spraying Maureen Lipman with masticated egg whites en route to delivering two hours of stand-up about overhearing his late mother and father enjoying each other in a Shabbos mitzvah in what we Jews call the rabbinical position?

Could it be Stephen Fry, Gerald Ronson, Zac Polanski and Lord Finkelstein toyvelling a treif-adjacent spoon before tucking into parev chocolate ice cream, and saying: ‘You know what this could do with? Just a few chopped nuts on the top – that would be really nice.”

Could it maybe be Tony Page serving a silhouette of Emily Maitlis in salmon mousse to Judge Rinder at Ali G’s daughter’s bat mitzvah, while Claudia Winkelman declares Robert Peston a traitor, before Lord Sugar says: “You’re fired”?

Or could it be yet another simcha where we shamelessly copy – and we’ve all done this – the choreography from the 1971 film version of Fiddler on the Roof, because although Topol, a wonderful man, God rest his soul, sang Tradition, Tradition, we were too busy in Plotz heating the water to stop the mikvah freezing over, to dance about with bottles of Palwin No 10 on our heads.

Or is it any one of us gazing at that portrait of Whistler’s mother, which is currently on loan to the Tate, and asking if it would have killed him to pick up the phone occasionally and give her a call?

Or maybe possibly it is our culturally stratospheric, lyrical, musical act The Milly Band, starring Ed on strings and Dave on drums.

The tagline of Jewish Culture Month is “Less oy, more joy,” and I am vastly in favour of having a wonderful time, so to that end, let’s learn to say joy gevalt, joy veis meir, joy a broch and – my personal favourite – joy a klug.

Let us not be subsumed by gloom in these dark and difficult times. We Jews excel at finding beauty and humour in the most unpromising places. This revivifying month of Jewish culture will bring balm to our souls, smiles to our faces and much-needed stimulation to our beleaguered brains. Let us celebrate 150 stellar events in 20 British cities. Let us luxuriate in our mesmerising interpretation of art, architecture of fashion, of music and of comedy. Let us bring our very special brand of vivacity and tenacity to the British Museum and to the V&A. Let us unleash ourselves upon the British Library, the Tate and the Science Museum.

Let us praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him with the clash of cymbals, and with the strings and pipe. I wish you all a most sensational first ever Jewish Culture Month.

Jewish Culture Month runs nationwide until 16 June. jewishculturemonth.org.uk