Jewish Care is the home of special relationships
For residents, emotional assistance is often as much-needed as physical help, resulting in strong bonds with carers.
When Vivienne Winnick moved into the Stella & Harry Freedman House care home following the loss of her daughter, she was grieving and uncertain about what lay ahead.
Mark Rowe, who began working in the kitchens, moved to resident care because of his kind nature, crossing paths with Vivienne.
“We warmed to each other the first day she came in,” he reflects. “She was really concerned about her new surroundings so I tried to reassure her and support her.”
Originally from Johannesburg, Vivienne appears frail and quiet, but around Mark, something shifts in her, and a wry smile appears. Whether eating her meals or talking about how she’s feeling, she responds to Mark’s gentle encouragement with a “Ja”.
“Vivienne trusts me” says Mark. “When we make arrangements, she sticks to them — like today’s interview, which she’s been really looking forward to.”
Mark enjoys learning about Vivienne’s life, including a shared love of animals especially horses, with Vivienne reminiscing about riding and showjumping in her youth. “I see a bit of rebellion in Vivienne when she’s not happy with something, and I see that side in me. I think that’s why we get on so well!” Vivienne nods in agreement and they take a moment for a gentle hand squeeze.
In the courtyard, Vivienne sits on a bench wearing striking yellow, speaking about how she enjoys getting dressed up and accessorising. (Even her walking stick is floral-adorned.) Mark says: “I got one of the female carers to doll Vivienne up a bit today – with some blush and eyeliner. I know she likes to look nice.” Vivienne chips in, “It’s nice to have something special to dress up for.”
Her bedroom boasts a large collection of family photos, including one of her younger self with bone structure to rival that of a supermodel. Last summer, accompanied by Mark, the pair managed a trip to Tesco, where Vivienne’s determination to find the perfect hair tint led to Mark wandering the aisles to find it.
During Covid, the absence of family visits tightened the bond between them. “Even if a resident might not speak, they feel and see who actually cares and I think that’s why I was able to build such good relationships – by always anticipating and caring.”
Asked if Vivienne misses Mark on his days off, she turns to him and stares questioningly for a moment, finally saying: “Most definitely”.
Kun Mor & George Kiss Home resident Melvyn Goldberg may keep his age quiet (85 – shhh), but there’s nothing quiet about his presence. A resident for five years, he is a daily source of energy and humour, especially for team leader Christine Wachira, who Melvyn refers to as “my favourite lady”.
Both agree that their friendship is “pure banter”, built on shared humour, respect and a deep love of football. Both die-hard Arsenal supporters, their bond was forged over match-day predictions and post-game debriefs. Christine says: “When they lose, I get moody, and Melvyn lightens the mood with one of his dry jokes.”
Melvyn defies his dementia with a packed daily schedule which Christine encourages, from leading Friday kiddush to updating the activity board he takes the lead in joining activities. Most mornings, you’ll find him getting fresh air with other residents and practising his trumpet, a skill he’s kept up daily since he was 12. He plays for residents and performs The Last Post at the annual Remembrance Day service at the home.
Melvyn’s passion for sport led him to a career in sports law, setting up Melvyn Goldberg & Co, representing athletes and clubs. “I started at 25,” he muses. “You couldn’t study it back then — I just did what I loved and was the first in the field to practise sports law. No-one else was doing it.”
Melvyn never misses a home game, going with his kids and grandkids, with the goal of bringing Christine one day. “That’s the plan. She deserves it,” he says and Christine smiles. “He’s become a big part of my life. When someone has such a rich history, and they let you be part of it… that’s a gift.”
On Christine’s workdays, Melvyn says that everything feels brighter but rather than make it too emotional, he jokes about her dancing (“two left feet!”), and she teases him about his preferred photo angle (“only from the right!”).
Melvyn explains that Christine makes him feel at home in care. “If you ask me if there’s anything I don’t like or want to complain about here, the answer is ‘no’. I’m very happy here.”
At the end of October 2024, Valerie Sheridan came to Anita Dorfman House care home at Sandringham care campus by ambulance, with an end-of-life diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer and doctors saying she was too unwell to walk.
At 72 with a wonderful family around her and Wanda (unavailable for interview) and Pauline Hicks as her carers, they have encouraged and supported her to be as active as possible. This is what matters most to Valerie: her dignity, her family and being able to walk again for her grandson’s upcoming bar mitzvah.
Valerie explains how she felt scared and unsure what to expect coming to the care home, “It sounds a bit corny, but I found a family here. Pauline is a great example of Jewish Care.”
At the same time that Valerie was brought in, Pauline, an experience hospital matron, started work at Jewish Care – a serendipitous moment that initiated the bond that has led to Pauline recounting stories of Valerie’s life. “It’s a shame we didn’t meet prior,” says Valerie, “We would have had some good fun together. Pauline’s a wonderful carer but she would have been a very close friend, as she is now.”
With Pauline’s constant support and encouragement, Valerie decided one day “I want to walk”, holding onto the edge of the bed and making her way round. “I got to the other side and sobbed with Pauline who sobbed too. It was so emotional. I just had that determination knowing Pauline was with me.” Pauline acknowledges these moments of inner strength and captures it on video for the family.
When Pauline is off work, Valerie misses her, with both relishing the chance to catch up. Pauline laughs, “I’ve mostly been sleeping for two days. Sometimes Valerie has been up to more than me! Jewish Care is an amazing place to work. I look at everybody as my mum who I lost. I do everything I can to help people here.”
Valerie recalls an eye appointment where afterwards, she asked Pauline: “Can we go to a café?”. Whilst it wasn’t for very long, it was a very special moment which “felt like freedom” to Valerie.
With her grandson’s bar mitzvah fast approaching in July, Valerie is determined to be there, walking. “It’s my dream. And Pauline will be with me. She is my darling.”
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