Seriously funny: vlogger and author Tova Leigh’s new show opens in London
Honey I'm Losing It focuses on motherhood, social media and making the world a better place
Alex Galbinski is a Jewish News journalist
As a less than perfect mother, I always find it reassuring to watch Tova Leigh’s videos about parenting. Whether the sketches recreate her ‘romantic’ scenes with her husband Mike to send up other influencers, or poke gentle fun at new mums compared to their more experienced counterparts or, Tova encourages people to see the humour in testing situations.
But the former lawyer – she was born in Jerusalem to an Israeli father and Irish mother and practised in Israel before moving to the UK to study acting – also tackles subjects including feminism, equality, rape culture, misogyny and the negative impact of social media on young people. For this – and for posting videos of herself in a bikini while not a size 4 – the mother of three has been criticised and trolled.
Luckily for us, Tova, 48, who now lives near Lisbon with her family, carries on regardless and will be visiting the UK at the end of this month as part of her new show, Honey I’m Losing It.
While Tova, who has two million social media followers, is known for her humorous content, she is reluctant to call herself a stand-up comic. “I do tell stories that are funny, but I don’t like saying I’m a stand-up comedian because I’ve never done the clubs, the circuit, and there are people who have done this for many, many years and have really honed their craft.”
Regardless, this is not Tova’s first rodeo. She has two tours under her belt: F****d At 40, which was based on her debut book of the same name, and You Did What? based on her book about confessions. This is, however, her first European tour, taking in Berlin, Zurich and Ghent “and a lot of places I’ve never performed in”.
During the hour-and-a-half show, she will be sharing stories, many of which will be about her life, about sex, relationships, marriage, parenting, hormones and perimenopause and, she says, “a lot of gags at Mike’s expense – after all, the show is called Honey, I’m Losing It and he’s Honey”.
Asked how she would define her work, she says: “I trained as an actress, so I do see myself as an actress. When I go on stage, I act, I pretend to be a stand-up comedian, I pretend to be an author. And sometimes I act being someone who runs female empowerment retreats, which is something I’ve started doing since moving to Portugal [in 2022].”
It is connected, she says, because regardless of the content she produces, her goal is for it to “hopefully help people, empower people, make people feel good”. She adds: “A lot of the time, I use comedy as a way to do that.”
While her audience is made up mainly of women aged in their late 30s to mid-50s, men do watch her shows. “The show that had the most men was the F****d at 40 one in Texas – they all showed up with their husbands and about half of it was about vibrators. But they loved it!
“I think more men will come to this one because I’ve made a point of saying husbands are welcome, and a lot of the humour is about relationships and marriage.”
Asked about her motivation for doing the more serious content, Tova explains: “Well, like the beauty pageant answer, I’m trying to make the world a better place, but I really mean it.
“I’m a mom [she has daughters aged 11 and 13], I’m very concerned about their future and I want the world to be better for them. I obviously could do so much more – everyone could – but what I try to do is raise awareness. Sometimes I do it more through humour or sarcasm and sometimes I do it in a very serious tone.”
It can be a tricky balancing act for Tova, who is strict about her children’s phone and social media use. “If I’m being really honest, if my livelihood didn’t depend on social media [Tova also works with brands, including Sky, Amazon Prime and Always] and having high engagement, I probably wouldn’t have a social media account, because I don’t think it’s good for your mental health, which is also why I’m very mindful about what I put out there. I think the content [children are exposed to] would shock most parents.”
What was also shocking for her was the abuse she received upon speaking out about Israel and different aspects of the war early on after October 7. “I made the decision, after a while, that social media just wasn’t the right place to put anything, because it’s a pool of dirt and people are so vile.
“But it was also because the platforms themselves don’t really allow you to address anything in depth, so you can never have the nuance that something like the Middle East conflict needs. I wrote a few articles on my website and I haven’t really touched it since.
“I’ve had criticism from both sides of the spectrum; from Israelis or Jews saying it’s awful I’m not saying enough, and from pro-Palestinian supporters saying I’m not saying enough for the Palestinian people. So, really, you can’t please everybody – and I’m not trying to.”
Tova is, however, pleasing thousands, many of whom will be thrilled to be seeing her in the flesh or are looking forward to her forthcoming book, which discusses female empowerment.
Honey, I’m Losing It is on at Leicester Square Theatre at 4pm on 28 September 2024. Tickets from £27.
leicestersquaretheatre.com; tovaleigh.com
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