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Parents whose sons were held by the same Hamas terrorist share message of healing
Iris Haim and Rabbi Doron Perez reflected on loss, faith and forgiveness in a powerful conversation about life after 7 October.
Two Israeli parents whose sons became tragically linked by the 7 October attacks have shared an emotional public conversation about grief, faith and forgiveness, offering a powerful message of resilience and national unity.
Iris Haim, whose son Yotam survived more than two months in Hamas captivity before being mistakenly shot dead by Israeli troops after escaping, was joined by Rabbi Doron Perez, executive chairman of the World Mizrachi Movement, whose son, Capt. Daniel Perez, was killed while commanding a tank during Hamas’s 7 October 2023 attack. His body was taken into Gaza by Hamas before later being returned to Israel.
Speaking during an online event hosted by Lockdown University on Sunday evening, the pair revealed that the same Hamas terrorist who abducted Daniel was also responsible for holding Yotam and the two hostages who escaped alongside him in Gaza.
Rather than only dwelling on their personal tragedies, the discussion focused on how faith, resilience and compassion had shaped their response to unimaginable loss.
Perez paid tribute to Haim’s decision not to blame the Israeli soldiers who mistakenly killed her son, saying her response had inspired families across Israel.
“I was very impressed… you straightaway immediately took us to a place of healing and forgiveness,” he told her.
“You said they must go back to the army… everything was done in good faith.”
Haim said that after learning of Yotam’s death she realised she needed to find “a new story” that would allow her to live with her grief, choosing to focus on her son’s life and values rather than the circumstances in which he died.
The pair also reflected on what they believe Israel must learn from the trauma of 7 October, warning against allowing political disagreements to deepen divisions within society.
“Our enemies are Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis and Iran,” Perez said.
“No political opponent in Israel who wants the good of the Jewish people… is our enemy.”
He urged Israelis to reject hatred towards one another, adding: “We have to understand that our enemies cannot be our political opponents.”
Haim agreed, saying every Israeli has a responsibility to help rebuild the country through their own actions rather than waiting for politicians to bridge the country’s divisions.
The discussion concluded with the pair reflecting on the contrast between Tisha B’Av, the Jewish day of mourning, and Tu B’Av, the Jewish festival celebrating love, saying Israel’s future depends on choosing connection over division.
“We need to believe that we are brothers,” Haim said.
Perez agreed, saying the country now needs “healing” and a renewed willingness to find common ground despite profound differences.
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