The vigil that would not look away comes to an end

It was a place to cry. A place to honour. A place to grieve. After the October 7 massacres, that place became a Hertfordshire shopping park. It was an unlikely setting in which to pray for the return of hostages being held 3,350 miles away in Gaza. But geography was irrelevant for attendees of the Borehamwood vigil. All that mattered to them was ‘Bring Them Home’ and the need to stand together — visibly, consistently, and without apology.

The vigil was born out of a conversation between Eddie Hammerman, his wife Ronit, Josh Moont, Chair of Borehamwood & Elstree United Synagogue. and vice chair, Lara Lipsey. “We all wanted to do something,” Eddie recalls. Once the idea was voiced, it became a collective effort almost immediately.

Eddie also  notes support from Gidi Matlin, Lisa Shaffer and Jeremy Newmark, leader of Hertsmere Borough Council. On Friday at the last vigil, he did not want the roll call of local heroes to be incomplete.

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Joined from the outset by Chief Rabbi Sir Ephraim Mirvis, the Friday vigil became a fixture for two years. Each week brought a different speaker, another voice united by the same purpose. One of the earliest was Sir Oliver Dowden, then Deputy Prime Minister, who declared that the Conservative government stood “four square behind Israel.”

The regulars stood in all weather — under umbrellas, wrapped in coats, or in summer heat — holding placards with  faces that became painfully familiar. There were moments of joy when hostages were released. There were moments of collective collapse when a name was crossed from the book of the living.

As word spread, news crews arrived. The vigil was broadcast around the world, placing Elstree, known for its film-making back on the map for an entirely different reason. Far from Borehamwood people heard about vigil one where shoes were used to represent the murdered and stolen and week two when when empty baby buggies stood as a metaphor for the lost children. To passersby – shoppers and those heading for the train -hundreds of orange balloons suggested a party and not the brutal murder of the Bibas family.

Among those present every week were Michael and Lisa Marlowe. As the parents of Jake, murdered on October 7 while rescuing festival-goers at Nova, they were not simply attendees. They were the heart, pulse and pain of the vigil.  Choking back tears on Friday, Eddie affectionately told the couple  “I wish we had never had to meet,” and everyone understood.

When the Marlowes’ suggested fundraising for Israel Guide Dogs in memory of their dog-loving son, the response was immediate. The charity now has three dogs — Jake, Marlowe and Woody — whose future work will bring independence and light to the visually-impaired, echoing the light Jake brought to his family.

The vigils took place against a backdrop of escalating antisemitism. Pro-Palestinian demonstrations had begun almost immediately after October 7, – that would be October 8 – and hostility intensified as the months passed. No one realised that the  final vigil would take place in the full glare of anti-Israel/ Jewish hate – a pressure that has only drawn those present closer together.

The return of the body of the final hostage marked the end of the long hostage crisis. With it came the end of the vigil on Friday. Standing once again in solidarity, the Chief Rabbi said it was tragic that Ran’s return was not to the loving embrace of his family. A reluctance to pick up the ‘freed’ stickers available endorsed that sentiment and there was no unbridled joy. ‘Bring Them Home’ was never meant to mean in a box.

For the final time, the group stood as one. Remembering their tears for Shiri, Ariel and Kfir Bibas and the cheers for Emily Damari. No shopping park has ever been the setting for so much emotion or new friendships forged week after week.

Reluctant to let go entirely, Eddie Hammerman announced a final gesture of continuity. “Michael Marlowe started a tradition of buying coffees for vigil speakers — which extended to absolutely everyone,” he said. “He has single-handedly kept Starbucks’ share price afloat. So from next Friday, we’re continuing it with a twist.” The new coffee club will be called The Vigil Brew and its single rule: Lisa and Michael Marlowe never have to buy another coffee again.

There was laughter and then Israel’s national anthem played and everyone joined in before placing their no longer needed yellow ribbons in a jar and saying goodbye – at least until next Friday. One last look at a poster of Rani Gvili and the shopping park went back to business as normal, but few will forget the impact they made. As the Chief Rabbi  told the crowd “I have no doubt that in the annals of the Jews of this country, special mention will be made of this Friday vigil as an example of British Jewry at its finest.”