Shabbat should be peaceful – for too many Jewish women, it isn’t
As JWA Shabbat approaches, Sam Clifford warns the community cannot ignore the silent suffering of Jewish women and children
What does Shabbat mean to you?
For many, it marks the transition from weekday to Shabbat: a shift towards rest and refocus. It may mean time in synagogue, family and food, prayer over candlelight, or conversation around a Friday night table. For others, it offers reflection, meditation and gratitude: a quiet walk to synagogue or stillness after the intensity of the week. But unfortunately for far too many women and children, that peace does not exist.
For me, Shabbat carries its traditional associations, but next week’s JWA Shabbat (28–29 November) comes with another layer. It is a moment to raise awareness of the work we do at Jewish Women’s Aid (JWA) and to focus on those at the heart of our organisation. As the UK’s sole specialist service supporting Jewish women and children affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence, we know that a peaceful Shabbat is not something everyone can take for granted.
This truth was recently brought home to me again in a moving conversation with a remarkable rebbetzin. She told me about a woman she had been supporting in her community who confided: “I was in shul for JWA Shabbat last year, and I remember sitting there thinking: ‘They’re talking about me.’ A year later, she finally felt strong enough to seek help. This is why we do JWA Shabbat.
It is about planting a seed and allowing that moment of recognition for women and their families, helping each of us reflect on how to stop the ripple of domestic abuse. That rebbetzin played her part by inviting JWA into her community and offering a safe space for women to come forward.
Across the UK, one in three women experiences domestic abuse, and one in five experiences sexual assault. Jewish women are equally affected, but they tend to remain in abusive relationships significantly longer than non-Jewish women, often for twice as long. Many delay seeking support until the abuse reaches a crisis point, often due to fears of stigma, cultural expectations, or not being believed. These hard-hitting realities must be acknowledged if we are to change them.
That is why next week, over JWA Shabbat, we are encouraging the entire Jewish community to consider what we can do to stop the ripple of domestic abuse. Our resources invite people to think about how we can support those living with abuse and how every one of us plays a part in creating a safer community. As last year, while people shop for challot ahead of Shabbat, they will see JWA stalls with staff and volunteers outside kosher bakeries and shops across the country. These stalls provide a safe, gentle space for conversation, sometimes leading to a woman coming forward. They encourage people to take a leaflet, ask a question, and consider how they can support the most vulnerable in our community. Participation may mean taking materials home, raising the issue at the Shabbat table, or simply being more aware. Each of these actions matters beyond what we can measure.
That is why understanding the ripple effect of abuse is so important. Abuse never affects only one person. Its impact spreads outward, affecting children who live in homes filled with tension or fear, friends who notice signs but do not know how to help, and teachers, youth workers and professionals who sense distress but cannot act without disclosure. It affects neighbours who hear arguments, colleagues who notice shifts in behaviour, and whole communities whose values are shaken when suffering is hidden in plain sight. When our community addresses abuse directly, supporting victims and preventing unhealthy relationships through education, we disrupt that destructive ripple.
Every JWA Shabbat, women come forward because they hear their rabbis speak, see volunteers in the street and because they witness the community confronting abuse directly. Breaking the silence and stopping the ripple effect of abuse really does save lives.
Today, demand for JWA’s services is unfortunately rising, and the responsibility to act rests with all of us. So let us begin around the Shabbat table, offering space and time to the most vulnerable women and children in our community, and playing our part in stopping the ripple.
For support, please contact the Jewish Women’s Aid Helpline: 0808 801 0500.
- Sam Clifford is the Chief Executive of Jewish Women’s Aid
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